Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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