Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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