hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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