I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just want nice things and good sex
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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