dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I supernannyed him into submission
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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