like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
porn star boner night. come get it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
