I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
