Whod you bang
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
