I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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