I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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