Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
