i think my mom watched the whole time
well you can't waste a boner
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
