I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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