# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
