I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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