Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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