i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She bit a glass in half.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
