I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
