jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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