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There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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