She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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