@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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