and my herpes radar will keep us safe
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
