I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
