Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
