Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
