dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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