Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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