Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
