Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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