Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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