is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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