My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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