just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
