I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
