also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
