She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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