Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
