Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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