She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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