he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
