I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
