That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
