I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
