After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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