do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
