dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
