Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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