she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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