She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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