My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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